13 Years On

I was vanilla in bed

Wouldn't sit on his head

Or make love with a mirror

I didn't have that ego

My love needed no fluff

Sweet love was enough

To feed my libido

As he got off

And I got screwed

13 years since destruction

But feels like yesterday

I lost everything I loved

Apart from the man

Who sunk all my dreams

His actions left me

With an unending scream

That I live with

Each and every second

Of my broken dreams

On this tiny plot of land

A prisoner till my last breath

Won't ever make excuses

For this deceitful man 

Who ruined my life

With his lies upon lies

Right from the start

Since London in the fall

Of 2007

When I said no to the mirror

On the wall

In our 50 pound room

Then at Waterloo Station

When we said goodbye

Heading back to Arizona

On different flights

He said

I will always love you

Even when we're over

Worst flight of my life

With those words in my mind

Should have left him right then

On Platform 10

But love is blind 

And full of phlegm

That stopped the vocal chords

From asking him

Why he'd say something 

So grim

Whilst claiming to love me

A word I don't use lightly

But he did

What a sin

Destroying all I'd worked for

To appease his sexual needs

And to play games

With former sweet, delightful Bead

Lie after lie

Upon my boat

Or up the hill

Where nobody knew 

That I was his girl

Another red flag

This man so bad

Even Jesús-loving Miss Daisy

His mother in Phoenix

Was in on the scam

This multimillionaire

Destroyed all my plans

It should be a criminal offense

But the Wicked West

Has no integrity

And people love a disaster

For free spirits like me

Who didn't follow the blueprint

But created a life like a dream

Don't get no sympathy 

Instead I silently scream

Each and every day

That I took him back

After the first deceitful foray

With a woman 

Who had followed me 

Into the bay

Inspired by my blog

So she bought a boat

But on hoc

And he was screwing her

As soon as I'd left

To return to Japan

He was busy, he said

Then when I discovered

He'd cheated on me

I said

Bye bye sailor

But he begged and begged

Don't leave

I love you

And so I stayed

Sealing my fate

To drown in this lake